Gossip Girl 2.4: “The Ex-Files”

For the first time this season, Gossip Girl finally had real work to do. In fact, Kristen Bell, the voice of Gossip Girl, was on a couple of different TV shows at the same time! Impossible? Well, no.

Okay, back to the matter at hand … and what a fantastic hand it was. There were several OMFG moments in this week’s episode, including a return to power for one central character. Oh, and post script, spoilers abound below.

According to Manhattan private high school etiquette, when a couple breaks up, the first one to date again, wins. In Dan and Serena’s case, the winner seems to be Dan, who meets a new girl the very first day of school, Amanda, and Blair and her posse are out to make sure Serena comes out on top and not the least bit humiliated. To be fair though, asking a girl out on the first day of school after breaking up with someone you really did love was pretty cruel. But no worries, Blair put the bitch whammy on her, trying everything her and her friends can to make Amanda terrified to date Dan. But she won’t be discouraged, bringing Serena back to her queenly ways, and riding the rise back up to social hierarchy, usurping Blair, albeit somewhat unintentionally.

And while Serena’s uprising seems to forebode a stronger emphasis on “Gossip” for future episodes of the TV show, we have to wonder why it is that Chuck hired Amanda to be into Dan. The whole thing appeared to knock Blair down a peg or two, so maybe that’s what he was going for

OMFG moment number two, and it’s a biggun’: Catherine (the Duchess) has been sleeping with Marcus (Blair’s boyfriend, but more importantly, Catherine’s stepson!) Thankfully, Vanessa caught this taking place when she had stopped by Catherine’s place to return a $5,000 check that had been given to her for keeping Catherine and Nate’s secret. Vanessa confides in Blair, who’s heartbroken but knows how to deal dirty. She gets Catherine to pay for any debts Nate’s father had incurred in exchange for Blair’s silence. However, Brooklyn-based Vanessa just sees Blair taking no action and decides to go directly to the man; Catherine’s husband, the Duke. Needless to say, any deal Blair had with Catherine was now off, and Vanessa’s just left apologizing to Nate. She should have just waited. Then again, no one on this show seems to like to wait.

Minor storyline alert (a.k.a., the uninteresting parts): Serena’s mom Lily is back in town after her honeymoon, and the first person she wants to see is Rufus Humphrey, Dan’s father. But he closes any feelings down pretty quickly in a final, “you made your choice, Lily” moment. As for Little J, she’s being hounded by Blair’s baffoons because she’s no longer in with the crowd. Yawn.

Most promising for next episode: Serena versus Blair. I’m guessing we’ll be seeing a side of Serena we haven’t really seen before, except in flashbacks. Get ready for more OMFG moments.