TV Verdict

The CW just debuted its new “horror reality” show, 13: Fear is Real, from executive producers Sam Raimi and Robert Tapert, so I decided to check it out.

Thirteen mostly good-looking people are transported into the middle of a Louisiana swamp, where they are to spend the night in an Evil Dead-style creepy cabin. In a far-to-blatant riff on the Saw films, an unseen character called the “Mastermind” leaves tape recordings lying around, instructing the contestants to play his sinister games. Whoever performs the worst in these games is “killed” at the end of each episode.

What could have been cheesy fun is instead handicapped by its own phoniness. The contestants keep walking around in the woods at night whimpering to themselves about how terrified they are, and how frightening it is to be “alone” in the dark. But we all know they’re not alone, because they’ve got cameramen following them around, not to mention producers, makeup people, and God knows who else. A plot point in the second half of the pilot has to do with contestants challenged to steal a “death box” (don’t ask) without the others noticing. Sneaking around behind the others’ backs is one thing, but sneaking around as the camera crew follows you is probably something else altogether. Simply put, it looks to me like this “reality” show is entirely staged, and that ruined any enjoyment I might otherwise have gotten from it.

These contestants, who appear to be all roughly the same age and economic status, are as bland as bland gets. The only standouts are the Mohawk guy, who says he’s here because he loves horror movies, the ditzy blond, who says she’s here to prove that she’s more than just a ditzy blonde, and the freestyle rap guy, who somehow manages to rhyme “evil” with “people.” Still, there wasn’t a lot of personality on display. Isn’t that supposed to be one of the draws of reality shows, the interactions among various dynamic personalities from different walks of life?

During one game, the Mastermind gives some contestants their own video cameras and instructs them to record the action themselves. This was the only moment in which the show almost looked as if it might start to get somewhere close to actually being interesting, but not a lot of the contestants’ footage made it on screen. I couldn’t help but wonder what the show would be like if the creators really went for broke, capturing the entire competition with stationed surveillance cameras and the contestants’ own footage. It’d look a lot rougher and grittier, but perhaps that’s what this show could use more of.

Hey, you know what’s really scary? In two weeks, this show will air on the same night opposite TV mega-sensation Lost. Good luck with that, everyone.