Things are getting hot up in he-yahh! The evil Starkwood Something-or-Other Corporation of Mercenaries and Stuff is plotting an attack on American soil using a scary bioweapon that Jack happened to take a lungful of last week.
Can Tony survive the interrogation? Will Jack test positive for Uroboros or whatever is that bad guy Jonas Hodges has cooked up? Will the FBI get there in time top prevent a biological holocaust from breaking out? And why again is the President’s daughter getting so much screen time?
Spoilers below.
The CDC arrives in record time to check out Jack’s infected status. Seriously, I think it was like 90 seconds for them to get to the scene, set up a quarantine and put on their funky spacesuits. Jack strips down and gets blasted with an elephant washer while the scientists examine pathogen vectors. He’s then packed up and sent back to the Feds, but not before receiving the bad news: he’s been infected with the T-Veronica virus!
In Starkwood, Tony’s taking a beating from his interrogators, until Seton, one of Jonas’s main henchmen, springs him from captivity and agrees to tell the Feds the location of the bioweapon in exchange for immunity. The President agrees and the assault is on!
We also witness the first instance of the season when the “P” word is dropped to describe the bad guy and that is, of course, “patriot.” Obviously no one knows why Jonas is going to sentence hundreds of thousands of innocent Americans to a painful death (in fact Seton brushes off Tony’s inquiry with “it’s complicated,” which really means “the writers haven’t written that far yet”), but he is a patriot! I think it’s about time we retire this description. These bad guys can get away with anything apparently and just play the patriot card.
“Sir, why did you sexually assault your Dachshund?!”
“I am a patriot!”
Meanwhile, Jack doesn’t get to play war. Larry orders him to stay behind in case he starts convulsing in the heat of battle. Speaking of being in heat, Renee is looking about ready to confess her love to Jack and get on with doing her part to make a stepbrother for Kim.
At the White House a whole lot of boring stuff happens, including the President’s intolerable daughter assuming more power. There was some talk about bringing Rick Berman on board as Chief of Staff. He’s the Star Wars producer guy, right?
The episode ends with Seton’s true plans revealed: he had tricked Tony and given the Feds a false location, allowing Jonas and his squad of thugs to corner the good guys.
A zippy, fun episode packed with some righteous attack helicopter action and troop deployment. I didn’t see the Seton twist coming, which was cool, though it looks like Tony’s going to tear out his larynx the first time Larry turns his back. Jonas continues to build the case for being one of the better 24 villains. My big question: what are they going to do for another eight episodes???
Next week: exciting back-and-forth dialogue and Jack collapses and writhes on the ground!
Memorable Bauer Maneuver
It is no small feat to stand in the middle of the freeway and get hosed down in plain view of the family passing by in their Saturn Vue.
Least Interesting Storyline Previewed Next Week
Hey, the First Daughter is making out with a television reporter! Buckle up!
Tony Grimace of the Week
“He played me!” (Translation: I am going to burn through the bureaucratic goodwill I’ve earned through my selfless deeds today by violating a Presidential executive order and strangling that Seton guy with his own small intestine.)
31. March 2009 at 5:35 am
Good episode, though I could have lived without the shameless WebEx product placement. “It’s so easy, even a terrorist can use it!”
31. March 2009 at 8:05 am
The most amazing part of this episode was that nobody got killed! The Las Vegas Super Gambling Counsel has an over/under on 20 deaths in next week’s show. I’m taking the over.
31. March 2009 at 9:01 am
How about those poor bastards on the videotape that were infected with the Progenitor virus or whatever? Never forget!
1. April 2009 at 12:25 pm
Um, what about the guy Seton shot when he sprung Tony? He looked pretty dead to me.
1. April 2009 at 12:55 pm
You forget something. The same guy that Seton “shot” show up at the end to talk about how Larry’s men are intruding private property on false charges and blah blah while holding them under shot . Yeah, it’s the same guy, showing that Setan has been playing Tony since the beginning. I believe that all this “I want to talk to you Mr Hodges , I think we should destroy the evidence” was part of the play.
1. April 2009 at 5:05 pm
Rick Berman was the exec producer of most modern Star Trek shows. They also mentioned Bob Justman, who was a producer on the original Star Trek. A little in-joke there from Manny Coto and Brannon Braga, also with Trek pedigrees, and both who are now working on “24″.