TV Verdict

We’d like to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving and we’ll do it in true TV style. The characters we love on Fox are here to share their holiday wishes.

THE SIMPSONS airs Sundays (8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT):

* Homer Simpson – “I am truly thankful there are now THREE football games on Thanksgiving, so I can spend even less time talking to my in-laws.”

THE CLEVELAND SHOW airs Sundays (8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT):

* Cleveland Brown – “Hey, y’all! This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for deep-fried turkey. And if your house catches fire – hey, deep-fried house. Gobble, gobble.”

FAMILY GUY airs Sundays (9:00-9:30 PM ET/PT):

* Stewie Griffin – “I’m thankful for building blocks, Rupert and the gentle way Lois grasps my ankles when she hoists up my bottom to clean my poops.”

HOUSE airs Mondays (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT)

* Dr. Gregory House –“I am thankful I didn’t park on the next floor up at the carnival.”
* Dr. Robert Chase – “I am thankful for… well, actually, not very much right now.”

LIE TO ME airs Mondays (9:00-10:00 ET/PT):

* Dr. Cal Lightman – “I refuse to acknowledge a holiday that’s based on the lie that the Pilgrims and Native Americans all sat down together with smiles on their faces to eat turkey, play footsie and sing ‘Kumbaya.’ The truth is that the actual meal was made with venison, and the Plymouth settlers eventually took the Wampanoag tribe’s land before both groups brutalized each other in the King Philip’s War of 1675.”

* Dr. Gillian Foster – “I am thankful that I’m single again and that Lightman got some much-needed vacation time in Mexico. I also feel really bad for all the turkeys. Does anyone need a date for Thursday night?”

* Ria Torres – “I am thankful that I’m no longer working at the airport, where I was used to spending Thanksgiving weekend telling people to remove their smelly shoes and strip-searching potential terrorists.”

* Eli Loker – “I wish that Thanksgiving was celebrated like harvest festival of Nigeria’s Igbo tribe, which involves wrestling matches, beauty pageants and theater about yams.”

* FBI Agent Ben Reynolds – “I refuse to comment as to the nature of what I am or am not thankful for in order to protect myself from any retribution that might result from my testimony in a pending legal matter.”

GLEE airs Wednesdays (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT):

* Finn Hudson – “I am thankful that the Pilgrims didn’t celebrate the first Thanksgiving by eating Great White Shark because I bet they’re much harder to kill than turkeys and my mom’s oven isn’t very big.”

* Rachel Berry – “I am thankful that no matter what happens to me in life, I’ll always have a job waiting for me at Disneyland.”

* Sue Sylvester – “I’m thankful for bamboo’s durability and resistance to splintering, making my ‘discipline cane’ the perfect teaching tool.”

BONES airs Thursdays (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT):

* Dr. Temperance Brennan – “I am thankful for the Thanksgiving tradition of splitting the Furcula. The Furcula being the wishbone, of course.”

* FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth –“I am thankful that my life has progressed from killing people for a living to catching people who kill people.”

* Dr. Jack Hodgins –“I am thankful for being the King of the Lab.”

* Angela Montenegro –“I am thankful that my office is far enough away from the forensic platform that I don’t have to smell corpses all day.”

* Dr. Cam Saroyan – “I am thankful that the smartest people in the world are often the easiest to manipulate.”

* Dr. Lance Sweets –“I am thankful for neurosis and sexual tension between partners.”

FRINGE airs Thursdays (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT):

* Agent Olivia Dunham – “I am thankful that scotch exists.”

* Peter Bishop – “I am thankful that Walter stopped counting out loud while he urinates.”

* Dr. Walter Bishop – “I am thankful that I still have wonderful LSD flashbacks.”

©2009 FOX BROADCASTING CR: FOX