TV Verdict

Here we go, the eighth (!) installment of the adventures of Jack Bauer. I’ve made no secret of my disdain for the the bulk of the previous season (see my wrap-up here), which turned into a complete bus wreck at the end and, frankly, nearly turned me off to the series completely.

Nearly. Because, who am I kidding? I can’t get enough of frayed electrical wire interrogations. So now a new day begins with a new setting, new faces, a new threat, and, most importantly, a new messenger bag! Spoilers below.

Jack is a happy grandfather, fully healed from the weirdo medical procedure his daughter volunteered for to cure him of an ailment that I can barely remember. He’s set to fly back to LA (a.k.a. The Terrorist Attack Capital of the Country!) and go about his life.

Then an old scumbag from his past shows up and drags him back into the world of high-stakes espionage and international incidents and punching.

There’s an assassination attempt brewing and the target is the president of Nameless Middle Eastern Country, Omar Hassan, who just okayed a groundbreaking peace treaty with President Taylor.

Jack reluctantly agrees to take the informant to the shiny new NYC edition of CTU, staffed by Chloe and some new faces. A simple five-block escort mission of course turns into a shoot-out and Jack improvises and by “improvises” I mean “BURIES A FIRE AXE IN A DUDE’S CHEST!”

They’re not in the clear yet because the CTU chopper that landed to pick them up is blown to smithereens by an RPG fired by the Temporary Main Bad Guy, an Eastern European gentleman (surprise!) who’s also been posing as a cop.

Back at CTU Jack tries to extricate himself from the case, but just can’t say no to Chloe’s puppy-dog eyes and agrees to stay on. A rudimentary armory raid lands him in hot water with the director, but Jack uses his trademark blackmailing abilities to convince the new boss to let him run around NYC unfettered, chasing down the real lead while the rest of CTU wastes their time with an obvious dead end.

Next week? Explosions!

Well, so far so good. The first episode was certainly better than the second, which felt crammed with too much filler. In fact I can barely remember any big things that transpired in the second hour. Thank goodness we had that axe attack which was vintage bad-ass Bauer. More please.

Over/under for how long it takes the writers to reveal that the true bad guys are the ever-dependable Cabal of Sharply-Dressed White Men? I say Episode Ten.

Now, a survey of the new faces. I should mention that for the first time since I can remember, there isn’t a new character who I immediately wish would meet the business end of Jack’s vampire teeth. But give it time…

Omar Hassan. I don’t like the romantic subplot and fear for the runtime-chewing father-daughter heart-to-hearts that will no doubt be pushed on us, but so far he’s interesting. His weaselly second banana? Let’s send him back to the Iranian equivalent of The Backstreet Boys ASAP.

Brian Hastings. The new CTU head is strong-willed and, as the job dictates, spectacularly stupid.

Rob Weiss. The new Chief of Staff. Seems okay, but after the ordeal that was Olivia Taylor, he could speak in heroic couplets the whole time and I wouldn’t care.

Arlo Glass. If anyone is going to irritate me, it’s this guy. At least he’s semi-competent. Also he’s not Janeane Garofalo.

Cole Ortiz. He gets a gold star for at least knowing and respecting Jack Bauer. Respect the game, son!

Dana Walsh. I don’t like the smell of the long-lost white trash boyfriend plotline, but truthfully I’m still stunned at the sight of Katee Sackhoff in a dress.