TV Verdict

The shocking death that ended last week’s two-part episode of 24 left the future of President Taylor’s peace accord in jeopardy. Even though the terrorists who took Hassan hostage were (almost) all killed by Jack Bauer, he was too late to save the IRK president. As this week’s bridge episode opens, Jack feels really bad about all that and tells President Taylor so. She assures him that he did everything he could, and that he should stop blaming himself and start banging Renee. Okay, she didn’t say that last part, but he decided that would be a pretty good idea anyway. Just before Jack and Renee can leave the operation and go back to his place, however, she thinks she recognizes one of the EMTs. He thinks she recognized him, too, which wouldn’t be a problem except that he’s a Russian mobster who just gave Samir—the only person to survive the attack, probably because he was shot with the same faulty bullets Jack keeps getting hit with—a lethal dose of some unidentified toxin. (Side note: whenever someone is killed by an unidentified toxin, it’s because the writers are too lazy to hit up WebMD and do a little research.)

As the Friday Filibuster 24 bingo card predicted, it turns out that middle eastern terrorists are not behind the assassination of Omar Hassan. It’s actually that old 24 late-season standby: a bunch of old white guys. In this case, Russians, led by the head of the UN delegation, a surly old hoss named Novakovic. He has been working with the Russian mob to keep this peace deal from happening, most likely to allow his government to keep supplying weapons to the region, but the way this season is shaping up I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that the whole thing is just a cover operation so they can kidnap Kim Bauer. It’s going to happen. Just you wait.

So Jack and Renee leave the tenement in a cab, followed by the EMT who recognized Renee from her undercover days. He wants to make sure she doesn’t talk, so he sets up a sniper position in some office where an expendable old man used to work, across the street from Jack’s apartment. Meanwhile, Jack and Renee are busy playing house, by which I mean exchanging a few words about promises that do or do not need to be kept, which apparently counts as foreplay for Jack because he answers Renee’s confused vulnerability by hoisting her up and carrying her into the bedroom for some early morning delight. Okay, so I get that they wanted to give Jack and Renee the chance to “connect,” but I have to call foul on the real-time aspect of the sex scene. While I think they gave the couple an adequate chunk of the episode for their…ahem…advanced interrogation techniques… they went from kissing in the kitchen to mid-coitus in about ten seconds. No wonder Jack gets so much done in a day.

Back at wherever President Taylor is supposed to be, she is ready to dissolve the peace talks when the IRK delegate offers her a solution to save them: offer Dahlia Hassan the chance to take over for her husband and sign the agreement in his place. After some hemming and hawing, the widow agrees, a decision her daughter isn’t too happy about. She tells her mother that it’s a death sentence. Her mother tells her she has to keep the blah blah blah from blah blah blah. Honestly, they haven’t done much to make me care about these characters up til now. There’s a good chance the writers didn’t much care about them either. Dahlia’s ascent to the presidency is just the way for them to introduce the major players in the Russian plot, who decide that they’re pulling out of the peace agreement anyway, and to bring in the former president who’ll help us fill in another bingo card spot: Charles “don’t call me a traitor” Logan.

After learning that the Russians are backing out, President Taylor asks Ethan (who looks surprisingly good for nearly dying forty minutes earlier) for help. He tells her that Logan has been calling his office and offering his assistance. He still has close ties to Moscow, as well as some mysterious information that could bring the Russians back to the table. Against her better judgment, Taylor agrees to meet with him, and Logan slithers through some back entrance and into one of the conference rooms in…again, where are they supposed to be? Anyway, the current and former Presidents exchange words about who trampled what Constitution, and what mistakes may or may not have been made, and when the dust settles, President Taylor gives Logan the go-ahead to meet with Novakovic and apply whatever pressure is necessary to keep the peace agreement alive. Just before she leaves, she gives Logan this warning: “God help you if you make me regret this.” Here’s a prediction: she’s going to regret this.

Meanwhile, back at CTU, Brian Hastings has been removed from power and Chloe has been put in provisional command, making this the first time an incompetent CTU director was ever replaced by someone who knew what the hell they were doing. In fact, Chloe proves her competence right away when Samir goes into shock and dies in CTU medical. In the same breath she tells Cole that she’s the new (temporary) sheriff in town, Chloe orders a full toxicology panel for Samir. Her hunch that he was assassinated pays off, prompting her to call Jack. Instead of getting Mr. “I do it with the lights, and bandages, on” she gets Renee. When Chloe tells her about Samir, Renee remembers the EMT that she saw and tells Chloe to pull her Russian case file. Just as she’s about to tell Jack, though, the sniper decides to start shooting (you gotta love an assassin who’s respectful of other people having sex), and in the “shocking twist” last week’s preview warned us about, Renee takes a few slugs through the window. Jack rushes her to the hospital, but it’s too late. She dies on the operating table, leading to the second silent clock countdown in as many weeks—proving that the silent clock countdown has zero meaning on this show anymore. Why not end every show with a silent clock? Hassan’s brother, aka Lester from Chuck, didn’t get a silent clock. Kevin didn’t get a silent clock. Jack’s parakeet didn’t get a silent clock. Okay, that last one wasn’t real, but you get the point. It’s sad and all that Renee is dead (in theory) but maybe it would have been even sadder if we actually felt some kind of connection between her and Jack that suggested their romantic involvement was anything other than a convenient plot device.

Six hours left, and it looks like we’re in for more political wrangling mixed with Jack doing what he does best: offing rich white guys. I’ll finish this week’s recap with two thoughts. 1) Even though 24 has been cancelled, they should try to spin this storyline off into the new TV series Law & Order: International Incidents Unit; and 2) If this season doesn’t end with Jack riding a nuclear bomb into the heart of Moscow, I’ll be very disappointed.